It all started when I decided to visit my best friend down in Austin. I was excited for a fun, memorable weekend. But little did I know, Austin Powers was about to rearrange my expectations.
We were walking down the street when we stumbled upon a peculiar little store. There was an outrageous old-fashioned mannequin in the window, with a sign that read “#1 Voted Penis Rings Pump”. We couldn’t help laughing, of course. But the thought that some unknown entity put the penis pump on display only to Austin Powers enthusiasts (not to mention the locals) had us completely baffled.
“Well, I guess you just never know what to expect in this town,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief.
Across the street, we spotted a bright yellow scooter with a little sign that said “Rent me!” Figuring this was a better way to explore the city, we decided to rent it. When we got closer, my heart nearly stopped. There, posted on the side of the scooter in bold letters, was a sticker that read “Austin Powers’ Penis Rings Pump That’s Not Mine”. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
My friend was as amused as I was. We rented the scooter, took it for a spin around town, and ended up having a blast. I had to keep reminding myself that I was in a foreign country, visiting a town I didn’t know. And yet, this strange ode to Austin Powers somehow fit in with the eclectic atmosphere.
That night, as we reflected on the day’s adventures, memories of the penis pump mannequin and scooter replayed in our minds over and over. In the end, I guess it’s true that you just never know what to expect from the great city of Austin.
Four days later, we went to the same store and the mannequin was still there, proudly wearing a larger penis pump. We laughed to ourselves, assuming someone had decided to up the ante overnight. That’s when we noticed something else odd – there was now a life-sized cardboard cutout of Austin Powers standing right next to the mannequin.
We kept walking until we found yet another sight that shattered our expectations. This time, it was an entire store devoted to Austin Powers, with a giant penis pump statue out front. Inside, there were posters, t-shirts, and countless other items all bearing the famous movie character’s face.
We were captivated by the scene, and what felt like an over-the-top tribute to the film. Even though both of us had watched the Austin Powers movies multiple times, we were surprised by the enormous penis pump display.
The store also had walls populated with signed pictures and other memorabilia from Austin Powers actors. We took some time to browse through the collection, even laughing at some of the funny-looking wigs and costumes.
We returned to the street corner where we had first found the mannequin. Eventually, a car pulled up, and a group of teens popped out. They seemed to be locals, and the one carrying a pink shopping bag had an unmistakably excited expression on his face. He had come to get an Austin Powers penis pump, a sure sign that these crazy contraptions were slowly becoming Austin’s most beloved novelty.
The weekend had been full of amusing surprises, but this scene was by far the most unexpected. I couldn’t help wondering how the penis pumps had come to be such a big part of Austin culture. I mean, what could people be thinking when they decide to buy one of these things?
It’s safe to say that I never expected to spend an afternoon shopping for an Austin Powers penis pump. But one thing’s for sure – I sure do love this town!